It’s Been A While But…

Hi there. It’s surprising how many blogs I’ve begun with an apology for the delay in blogging but I’ve literally been so under the learning curve rope that I have simply lost track! However, I thought I would return today with a bit of a bang! Loving life and some of the influential things I’ve seen on Twitter and Facebook lately, supporting the curvier group  of people out there. I’ve been reading many posts and blogs about weight loss struggles including the use of instagram and Facebook Pages detailing the daily struggle of food challenges and exercise, photo’s of before and after their struggles to “fit in” with what they think is the norm. I’ve yet to read a blog that inspires me enough that they are actually doing that to better themselves, to make them feel healthier!

Now almost 2 years ago I had a bad accident at a place I was working. I managed to slip down 14 concrete steps in a GP surgery resulting in a couple of prolapsed discs and a very painful knee. When I first sought help I was constantly told that the problem would resolve if I lost some weight. I wanted to hit someone! What did my weight have to do with the fall??? Here’s the dilemma. If I hadn’t been as ‘big’ as I was it’s very likely that I would have done MORE damage, yet being as ‘big’ as I am I possibly did more damage! How do you work round that one?! I’ve faced many struggles since that accident as well as generally. I’ve been on a lot of medication which has enabled me to go to the gym in an attempt to strengthen my back but of late those meds haven’t worked. In addition to that in just over a week’s time I will FINALLY be going to hospital for surgery in an attempt to get my leg back to normal (it’s currently about 5cm bigger than the other due to swelling). Anyway, I thought I would share with you MY BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURE.

My 'before' and 'after' pictures.

My ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures.  

sort of 'inbetween'

sort of ‘inbetween’












I started to lose some weight recently after I joined the gym, drinking lots of water and eating much better. Living on a tight budget does make eating healthy so much harder! Some fruit and healthy products are so expensive, but we all have to make sacrifices. I lost this weight after my “amazing” family felt the need to point out that my image was an issue, however given that they could only call me fat made me feel a bit better, especially as the things I could call them would fit on an A2 piece of paper!! I wanted to prove to myself that I have control of my life and that name calling doesn’t bother me. I’ve dealt with being called ‘fatty’ and being told to ‘go and eat another McDonalds’ since I was about 13. I lost my mum when I was 12 years old and I guess I comfort ate, but it’s not an excuse is it? I’m MUCH happier now than I’ve been in many years. I’m working on the relationship with my Dad and my brother with them it’s difficult but we are getting there! I’ve stopped contact with the others simply because it was doing me no favours remaining in contact with them, but it does hurt. I miss some of the crazy things that used to happen but I’m so glad not to be the ‘wallet’ to them all anymore.

The Mr has been fabulous. He is struggling a little bit as his weight has escalated and he is really unhappy with his image. I’ve told him I still love him and I always will, but his self esteem needs to come from within. A lesson I’ve learned in life and one I wish I could teach to others. I’m still the same person, still wanting to make others welcome, encouraging others to be more confidant and to enjoy life! I arranged a birthday event for a friend recently, it was actually a few friends but one dropped out (I’m not entirely sure what happened there) and it went down a storm. I hit the pound shop and got some glow stick glasses and headbands, badges with ‘birthday girl’ on them, a birthday cake that kind of thing! It went REALLY REALLY well. I know it might sound silly but these small things can make such a difference. I even got bubbles and was blowing them around in the pub!   It was so much fun. We laughed and enjoyed it. That is what life is all about! I can’t wait until tomorrow, I’m looking forward to psychic circle developing skills and just the social part of meeting new people! I need to be more social actually. I keep picking the wrong people at the moment. I’ve been having a tough time. I trusted a person who has thrown their friendship in my face, it’s really knocked my personal confidence and I feel like I have been pushed back to a place I don’t want to go again.

Perfect! xx

Perfect! xx

Everyone struggles in life, everyone has a story to tell. The only way we get through it is by focusing on the good things and getting out there and facing the challenges. Blow the obstacles in the way and treat them as an experience and learn from them rather than hate them. Yes it’s a madness and sometimes we struggle to get through them but with a good circle of friends and love, anything is possible. We show those struggling that they are not alone and that they can trust us, that to be trusted is an honour but I can only do so if I am allowed to help. Yes, I heard some of this on a TV programme Penny Dreadful, but I heard it and loved it. How wrong can one be? We need to make the best of what we have, we only get on shot at this it’s not worth feeling rubbish most of the time, have a couple of bad days, have a few mad days but just remember that sometimes things are always simple……. just be yourself and don’t sway from that ever. Don’t let some small minded people put you down. The chances are they are feeling crap about themselves and need to pass it on to others. If you are happy as you are then keep yourself happy. IF you aren’t happy then change it. Sometimes it’s a hard choice but treat it like an obstacle in your life and something you need to get passed to be able to live your life YOUR way!

Much love for now….

CG xxx


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