The Up’s and Down’s of Life

As I start this new post I’m not sure how much I can squeeze into this teeny post without boring you all. When I say it’s been one of the weeks, it genuinely has been one of the most trying. I’ve had limited sleep so I’m exhausted and feeling it, but on top of that I’m trying to balance out the rest of everything else as well. We managed to get our wardrobes delivered safely to our place so no more living out of a suitcase and I can finally see some of the beautiful outfits I actually have. I’ve purchased some beautiful dresses lately but I’ve not work them yet, I know the weather has been perfect for them but my legs need to be fixed before I get them out! My surgery date has been listed for the 7th August woohoo! I’m having some veins whipped out as I keep getting blood clots in my legs which have became quite dangerous, the clots leak into the tissue causing the tissue to become inflamed and sore. It’s a pretty sight!

Anyway, on top of that I’ve been having drama with my mobile phone in that it doesn’t work where I live or when I go out. It’s been driving me crazy! What’s the point of having a mobile if it doesn’t work when it’s not able to connect to the network when you are out and about? Good old Vodafone! Now I could rant for hours about their failings but I won’t because I end up getting really frustrated. I rely quite heavily on my phone when I’m out and Thursday I was out having drinks with a friend after a reading, tarot cards, which I will talk about shortly, but of course trying to get hold of the Mr when one is drunk isn’t good when your phone decides not to want to connect! In the middle of town that was, stranded! I was not impressed. So far I’ve spent an hour and a half on the phone to them and I’m now told it because the masts are down in my area, what since January? It’s the same excuse every single time! The bills I pay each month should cover the cost of an engineer for at least 2 hours. Not happy. This actually ended up in about a 4.5 hour phone call, the Mr took over the calls, got cut off 3 times and was so annoyed I think he was losing the will to live!! We are no closer to a resolution but I was offered a really good deal as I investigated cheaper offers, I was offered unlimited texts and calls a 3GB of Data for £34 but was offered it with 3 months half price, on a Samsung S4 Mini! Result. Unfortunately, until the situation with my current contract is resolved I can’t do anything else. I’m mega annoyed!

On a much better note, I’ve weighed myself and I am now 12 pounds light than I was 2 weeks ago. I’m delighted. I needed to tone up a bit and still have a fair amount of wobbly bits but the weight is an added bonus that’s for sure. I’ve upped my exercise regime and have  been given a 30 day thigh challenge which is really hard going. It’s quite empowering to plough through these exercises and actually see the results. I’m not going to preach about it to you, I’m just sharing my experiences at present which is that I’ve found it quite delightful. I still have to be careful when I exercise because of my back and knee.

Being Big means being more accepting to others

Being Big means being more accepting to others

I’ve noticed lately that despite being a big girl there is always someone else that might like to put others down, in fact I’ve noticed a few big girls who do it simply because they feel they need to get a dig in before the other person does. This breaks my heart. Being big means that I know what it feels like to be targeted and judged by how I look, how I eat, how I act basically everything I do. Now I know it’s easier to go on the defensive straight away but I also note that sometimes we have to take the lead in accepting responsibility for making changes. Admittedly if I have had a bad day I am the first to want to lash out at anyone that might even so much as give me a ‘dirty look’. If I have been called names all day, I feel vulnerable and I feel pretty worthless if I’m strictly honest and it is pain staking to crawl through the rest of a day when it has started out as being awful, but it has to be done. I just need to remember it is a reflection of themselves that they are portraying and blaming me for. I’d love to believe they do it because they are jealous of me but some how I find that even harder to believe!

Treated like crap!

Treated like crap!

 

It’s nice to be shown images like this, it helps to reinforce my thoughts about the subject. I know it doesn’t mean so much as to accept this as some kind of excuse for what these people are doing, regardless it is still wrong! No one should have to go through life being belittled by anyone least of all by someone having a ‘bad day’. I avoid doing that by either curling up with a good book, grabbing a bottle of wine or going to bed early! No one gets in to trouble that way.

The Mr has been addicted to those Reece’s cups of chocolate and peanut butter, if not those than butterfingers. He doesn’t even like peanut butter?! I love the Skittles that taste like the most popular desserts. They are completely yummy. I’ve been struggling with keeping my blog fresh so I don’t bore you with the mundane crap of my life, you know where I talk about cleaning our home, movies with watched (unless they are awesome) that kind of thing… perhaps I should move swiftly on to the Tarot reading I had then?

Well, I was scheduled to have a reading with a Tarot reader but unfortunately I’d had a row with the Mr so of course that was what the psychic picked up on. I then had another reading with another reader and was told similar things but in a more pleasant and refreshing way. The main gist being that I need to take more control of my life and make the changes I need to make but all in good time. I knew most of this already but it’s nice to hear that I am on the right track. I’ve also been researching numerology which is just a heap of numbers about us that make us act the way that we do for a reason, whether it’s creative or managerial things. EVERYTHING revolves around numbers. It’s actually very interesting if quite tough to follow to begin with.

I still haven’t confirmed my place at the beauty pageant I’m still not sure whether I should do it or not. It’s a lot of work which is great but it’s money to do it! Money to sign up, for tickets, to get there, the outfits, make up, hair etc… I know I should quit the worrying and go for it but I just can’t be one of those girls.

Ah well, the Mr has decided to put The Bourne Legacy on and it’s a must watch so I will be back tomorrow to post about common sense and spirituality.

Much Love CG xxxxx

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