Right….. So here goes. I am a size 18-20 female of 30 years of age, with blonde-ish hair with which I am told I have a very pretty face. However, all people tend to see is the size of me, my round shape not my face or the person I am inside. I am not confident and I don’t claim to be the most popular of people, I can be a bitch but I tend to get in their with the insults before they point out my rather large thighs or my rounded arse.
I’ve tried diets, I’ve tried exercising but to be frank it’s not all that easy! I don’t eat much and the majority of my friends will vouch for that, but I’m bigger built. I hate that I get called a plus sized girl and I hate having to spend extra money to buy something that is of decent material built for my shape by the likes of people like Gemma Collins or Claire Richards. Don’t get me wrong some of their designs are pretty lovely, but I can’t get my hair looking like theirs nor can I afford to spend £40 on a cardigan just because it was designed by Gemma or Claire, both of whom I rely on heavily to promote my plus sized shape! Just wished they could consider my menial wages! After rent, gas, electric and phone bills there’s normally just enough to cover food let alone a lovely dress from one of their collections., maybe one day they will ask me to model their clothes!
I recently discovered I am a finalist in the Miss British Beauty Curve 2014 subject to a £75 sponsorship fee… Firstly I need to get £25 then I can pay the remainder, think I might not be able to eat for three days to cover that! I am determined to enter this competition though and I am determined to show people my personality is what makes people like me not the fact that my arse is rounder than theirs or that I feel like people are watching me eat! It’s almost like if I choose to eat healthy people feel sorry for me because they know me to be on a diet, however if I sit their with a huge roast dinner I’m going to be judged with the thoughts “she really should try eating salad”. Well here is the thing. I’m not a salad girl. I will eat it during the summer months, that’s when it’s meant to be eaten but I refuse to fall victim to others pity looks and being the target of cruel comments just because I am a size 18 and not the accepted size 10!
We all have our hang ups and I guarantee a size 10 girl probably feels ‘fat’ in some of the choices she makes but that’s for her mind to deal with… I don’t walk around judging people before I know them, I try to get to know a person before I make a judgment about whether I like them or not. So some with a beautiful face might be beautiful but the minute they start speaking a load of political tripe I immediately switch off. My opinion is that we live in a world of free speech and therefore you should not be forcing your opinions on me. I am a size 18, or plus size as I’m repeatedly told, but that’s what I am… That does not give anyone the right to call me fat, ugly or obese just because of the size of my clothes. I don’t go around calling a size 6 a bag of bones so please return the favour.
Like me there are girls who have the opposite problem to me. I only have to look at a bar of chocolate and I gain a pound, where as an other girl could possibly eat McDonald’s 4 times a day have 3 bars of chocolate and still be a size 8. Other than the fact I am completely jealous of girls like that I have accepted who I am therefore it’s about time others accepted that too! I do feel persecuted because I have to pay more money for nice clothes, because I have to contact stores and ask if they offer a plus sized range of clothing and knowing that I want to try on wedding dresses yet being horrified that I am going to need to try on dresses that look like tents to hide what I have.
I have a reasonably good rack, my partners words by the way, and I’m not scared by it, I’m happy with it also it’s just my bottom half that needs work. Each week I cringe at the magazines I buy seeing the adverts about having a bikini body in 6 weeks by following the enclosed dieter by signing up to their special website… Well what about a magazine for a plus sized woman instead. No I do not mean a magazine that tells me all about women who lost 5 stone in 5 months or about the latest fad diet. What about showing me where I can go to a shop, besides Evans, and not be made to feel like I am the size of a small house, where if can go and meet women who are also the same size as me without any prejudice, or even reviews on the latest plus sized clothes ranges available! Have you ever looked for a plus sized item of clothing under £30 that not already ‘out of fashion’ or is just plain ugly? I’d love to read inspiring stories of a plus sized woman putting her size out of her mind and giving the world what for, like this competition has shown! I want to read about a plus sized woman visiting the local high street and not being treated like a freak because the only store selling clothes in her size is Evans or the ugly stuff sold in New Look.
I love Gemma Collins and Claire Richards for standing up for us bigger girls, they inspire me to keep being myself and crack on with being me, forget what people can see and project the image I want them to see, my personality. If only I knew how to reach out to women of the plus size category and set us with a challenge to change how we are seen. Even that dove campaign from last year for ‘real women’ appears to have vanished….
I guess the fight for now goes on….
Signing off… K xx